About a year and a half ago I decided that I was not cut out for family life. I had everything good in my life: a good job with a good salary, interesting hobbies, friends, a positive attitude and a certain sense of harmony.
But the relationship did not work out. Not at all. There was a feeling that my wife Irina did not understand me and did not want to understand that I was developing, and she was not only not developing herself, but was slowing down my development. There were arguments, scolding, nagging, scandals, tantrums. In general, I decided to leave.
Since I was actively working with Eugeny on my development at the time, I paid a lot of attention to my emotional state, and this whole situation was really knocking me out, I called Shulman. Emotionally, I outlined the situation to him "in all colors" and announced my decision. "I can't take it anymore, the relationship is over, it's time to end it...".
How was I to know at the time that the relationship had not even begun?)
Then Eugene told me one trivial phrase over the phone. I must be grateful that he said it in such a way that in spite of its banality it resonated in me, and later on it helped me to look at many things from a slightly different point of view.
He said to me, "Vyacheslav, of course you have the right to make any decision and act as you see fit. But surely you know that no person comes into your life for no reason: if a person comes into your life, it means at the very least that you need to learn some lesson from it. If you don't, there's a good chance that the situation will repeat itself in the future. and will repeat itself until the lesson is learned. and the sign that you have done so is gratitude - gratitude for the experience, for the lesson. Do you have a chance to come to my session with your wife?"
And we came. I thought, "Here he is going to straighten me out." Or something like that. Yeah, that's about what I thought.
And then something happened. I will not describe exactly what happened during the session, partly because enough time had passed and I had forgotten much, and partly because I still do not understand WHAT and HOW it happened. Of course, no one was straightening anyone's mind. But something definitely happened. And from that moment on, everything changed. More precisely, outwardly, maybe nothing immediately changed, but something happened inside, at a very deep level. And I realized that I needed to work on my relationship. And work began: work on myself, work on relationships. I realized that in a relationship you have to invest yourself, your strength, your soul. And that love is not a random meeting of two lonely hearts, but the result of painstaking work, and that love has not yet existed in my life, but there is a huge chance to come to it...
I understood a lot of things then. Or rather, since then, in the process of working, thinking, communicating.
And I saw that it was possible to develop and grow in our relationship. I realized that I had a lot to learn from my wife and to teach her. And that she knows how to love and love, while I am only on my way to doing so. That we can and should be each other's encouragement, support, comfort, and powerful source of energy.
Now, after a year and a half, we fight sometimes, too. Sometimes we get offended. But now we don't spend as much energy on it. We are learning to listen and hear, and I'm glad to see that we do it), we talk a lot, we love to spend time together, she always meets me from work with a smile on her face and I smile back. We can just stand in silence with our arms around each other - and that's better and more than any words.
And another thing that happened a year later, after that crisis moment: I realized that my wife is the most important thing in my life and that I am ready to live my life together, to grow together, to make mistakes together, to be happy and sad together...
And that I was ready for our love to bear fruit. I used to be afraid to even think about children: afraid of responsibility, of permanence, and who knows what else!
And once I accepted and knew I was ready, by the law of synchronicity, we knew we were having a baby!
Now we are expecting our first child:) Irishka is getting creative - she makes wonderful toys, and she has also completely invented the design of our apartment, where we are renovating!
I enjoy taking care of her. She feels it and takes care of me too. Or rather, she has always done it, and I have learned to appreciate it and reciprocate... And now I can say with confidence - I am happily married! I am happy, and every day I thank God, the universe, and who else can I thank for the fact that I have her!